*Not wanting to be culled from the herd.
*Being afraid to stand apart and get attention.
This one happens often to people who were sexually abused at a young age. They generally do not want to be looked at as desirable or sexual.
Others may have been used to riding under the radar all their lives and the thought of people seeing them is a new and uncomfortable situation. Will others expect them to be a leader? Perhaps ask new duties of them? You might be scared that others will find you attractive and risk a relationship that was built on the concept you are not desirable to others. What if you could leave a bad relationship now that others want you?
Ideally, start setting yourself apart in a number of ways - maybe a new hairdo, maybe a new wardrobe, maybe speaking up, drawing attention to yourself, questioning directions.
*Afraid of others jealousy.
Women more often run into this issue. You have friends you gripe with, that you eat and drink with, that you share dreams of thin with, and other complaints and wishes.
Actually taking time away from the misery and acting on your health, slimming down, and having new habits and new ordering requirements at restaurants shows others that you don't share same choices and your choices are throwing a floodlight on their choices, even if you aren't saying a thing about dieting.
How do you get around this obstacle? Begin to set yourself aside in some aspects. You don't need to be the same old/same old. Maybe take a class, plan a vacation, join a group that supports your lifestyle like yoga or hiking. The group can see you not being stagnant and perhaps might even want to join you in an endeavor, leading them to joining you as you commit to weight loss.
*Changing concept of self from helpless to in control.
This is actually pretty common. So long as we dreamed of losing weight but it never happened or never stuck, we begin to feel like this is an aspect of self we are helpless to and this translates to other parts of the life, as well. A helpless person having control sounds like a huge jump. It's a lot easier to just accept you have no power.
Prep yourself for being in control by listing all the things that you do in your life that show control - from paying bills to showing up at work, throwing out the trash to fixing things around the house. Now, give yourself a new task that you must take control of and it should be something involving assertion. Say "no" to things you normally cave in and accept, maybe delegate tasks to others, or always park furthest from the building and walk each time you go out.
*Others expecting more of you.
It's true that once you look confident and in control, others are going to ask more of you. You are no longer a lemming, you are responsible and glowing.
First, you'll find more invitations, promotions, and being a priority to others who either live off your motivation or think you have it all together. It's the way of the beast when you have your pick of wardrobe, walk with head held high, and show vigor and health.
The easiest way to not let this new runway status be less threatening is to get used to "popularity." Socialize more, making an effort to hang with friends and yuck it up. Be okay with a public speaking opportunity. Contribute at meetings with confidence.
*You have a loved one that doesn't want change.
This one is a pretty insidious issue. A spouse/lover might be afraid of you realizing what you're worth and looking elsewhere. Maybe they fear having the refrigerator and routine changing. Subconsciously they may not like the message it sends, "you think you're better than me because you're doing the work and I'm not."
Be clear and concise with your significant other that you are seeking health and longevity. Your goal is less health care costs, less medicines, and to be able to work maximum years, giving you both a solid nest egg. Do not discuss how you will look sexier, dress sexier, be more willing to go to the beach. These types of phrasings can be taken as prior warnings of your desire to be attractive and interpreted as, "...to others"
Invite them to on board if they're interested in doing physical activities together or eating healthier meals. Sometimes, the simple act of you doing something that isn't inclusive can make them feel left out.
As you lose weight, be sure to point out things you can now do, like touch your toes, get on the floor and play with the dog, wake up without aches and pains, climb the stairs without being out of breath. Try not to focus on how good your clothes fit or how much more attractive you feel. These tend to show your focus is on looks and they loved you even when you didn't look like that, so they may make assumptions you want to look good to others.
There are so many other ways you can sabotage your weight loss. These are all insidious and perhaps completely buried in your subconscious.
Remember, it may not be as simple as not wanting to stop eating fast foods. It may be you like the "fat coat" protecting your physique from viewing. Perhaps you're afraid of attracting attention and being interested in someone other than your significant other. Perhaps you don't want the dating pool to suddenly start taking note of you because you've been hurt in the past. It could be that having a layer of fat is keeping you anonymous and under the radar with your employer. As well, a common one is wanting to look like family and friends and "fit in."
The first step is being conscious of it.
To some degree, many of these had blocked me from weight loss. It wasn't so much that I was lighter on the scale, it was that I was claiming the woman beneath.
It had more to do with knowing that there was a woman who was tall with lean muscles of a ballerina and she was wearing a thick coat of fat atop it.
If you had a gorgeous outfit, would you wear a puffer jacket over it all the time? Yeah, it makes no sense.
We can say it's cravings, overeating, being lazy, loving food, eating fast food, family genes, but ultimately the subconscious makes the decisions. If you believe you are destined to be fat, have no other choice, can't lose weight, your subconscious accommodates and you can say "I can't help my condition." In a way, you can't because you instructed your mind what it must continue and maintain.
A friend once discussed family DNA for heart disease and diabetes. I had to counter with, "well, you know what diseases you are likely to get if you lead a poor lifestyle, but what about the opposite? What if you DNA says living healthily will make you an endurance athlete? Maybe someone who lives to 95? Don't you want to know what good genes you carry?"
Good luck and good voyage. I admit, I am no therapist or health expert, although I have a vast knowledge and experience in both. I am someone who knows a wide variety of dieters who succeeded and maintained and ones who did not. These common barriers were often afoot.
Honestly, when you see 95% of folks who lose weight regaining plus some, you have to know that it's like putting an alcoholic back in the bar. They go back to eating and living as they did before. The most humbling thing about maintaining is knowing you can never be that person again - not just physically, but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
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